I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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