then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
