How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
