Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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