I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
