apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
