Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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