Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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