It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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