driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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