She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
