Don't you send me to vm
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
