Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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