I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
