He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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