She is in my trunk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
