Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
