Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As shirtless as possible
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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