haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
