I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
