would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
