Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
