WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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