Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
