OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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