If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
