I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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