Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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