ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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