I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
