youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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