Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
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He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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