i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
