Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
