sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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