we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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