I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize