At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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