sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
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I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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