that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
