best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
