Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
