She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
