So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
