My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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