Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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