I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
