Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?