What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...