Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever