idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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