Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
