Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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