does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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