So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
