I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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