I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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