Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
