my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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