I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
