She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
