I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
