Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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