I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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