I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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