drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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