I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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