In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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