all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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